Through a Screen: Evaluating the Heart and Setting Healthy Patterns
Our current world exists through a screen whether that be at work, school, navigating directions, or checking the time on our watch. How do we as people learn to adapt to this world and instill healthy engagement within it to our children? Parents are met with hard decisions daily with the internet and how to not “overdo screen time”. There is not a “one-size fits all” approach to screens, making it more complex to determine what a healthy relationship with screens even looks like.
By understanding the brain, games and social media stimulate the variable reward system, leading to a burst of dopamine (also known as the feel-good chemical). The concern is not dopamine itself, but how this pattern of behavior to seek a reward creates addiction or maladaptive coping mechanisms. This takes screens from only being part of our life to being revolved around it. Below I will explore how to increase our own awareness of screens to move towards a healthy relationship and how screens can be an opportunity of intercession that draws us closer to the will and heart of God.
Role of Screens in Life. Screens absolutely serve a vital and real purpose in our daily lives. However, there is such a need to filter and grapple with the content being consumed. How do you notice certain apps, posts, or comments affecting your mood negatively or positively? How do these messages draw you further away from truth and peace? What our eyes see determines where our heart and actions follow. “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me” Psalm 101:3 Determine what healthy roles you want for screens and remove the content that does not align with your values or benefit your mental health.
Evaluate Motivations Behind Screen Use. When we better understand what is driving our screen time usage; we can better determine the reason behind the behavior. How much are your emotions being numbed, distracted, or avoided by screen use? What priorities are being misplaced or neglected for screentime? In what ways, do screens allow for recharging, connecting, or better expressing emotions? King Solomon advises us to “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life” Proverbs 4:23. God does not want us to live in fear or avoidance of our feelings, but learn how to better understand our heart in what we are seeking from screens.
Take a pause. Intentionally set time aside each day to be present. It is okay for our mind to wander and be still, in fact we are called to it. 1 Samuel 12:16 says, “Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the Lord will do before your eyes”. How can we enjoy relationships with family, our community, and our Lord when screens pull us away from experiencing the life in front of us?
Break-up Pattern by Making Changes. We can easily get stuck in autopilot and not even realize how much time, energy, and focus is going to being on a screen. Switch up your schedule, put your phone further away than an arm’s reach, or do an activity you normally do with a screen without one. The options are limitless in execution, but changing up our daily routine allows us to experience moments and ourselves in new ways. Prayerfully consider ways to bring own awareness to daily screen patterns so that our usage begins to embody 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control”.
Expect Discomfort. Changing up the role, structure and relationship with screens will bring a level of uneasiness to you and your family. We are going from a place of normalcy, routine, and security knowing where screens fit into our life to then challenging ourselves to re-evaluate it. Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it”. Screens provide ourselves and our loved ones’ opportunities for growth, self-reflection, and ways to practice self-discipline.
If you find it is difficult to have a healthy relationship with screens, therapy can be a great space to further explore your feelings, find support, and have guidance in this process.